the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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