let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
