1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
