Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
