Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
