We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
