On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Im part way to drunk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
