Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
two words...techno handjob
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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