I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We smell like vodka and hangover
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
