yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
