i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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