If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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