Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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