She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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