my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
