Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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