Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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