I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
