No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
