have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
