He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
