So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize