Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
