I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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