windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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