I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
