oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize