The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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