I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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