Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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