I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think your dad took our porno
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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