Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
