i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
