Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
