I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
