I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
