Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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