I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
