Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
