Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
