Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
