Your dad touched me again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize