Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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