A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
