i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
