Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
