Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Too much gin, very little bucket
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize