She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
