You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
