I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize