I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
