I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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