Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize