You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
50% drunk capacity currently
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
