The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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