ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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