Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
