Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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