why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
