Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
