this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
