So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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