WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
