so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
