This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
