I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize