I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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