in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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